Weigh the Pros and Cons

We psychologists adore weighing the pros and cons of any behavior change. It concretely and simultaneously documents your attraction to, and fear of, change. The technical term is decisional balance: like a weight scale, one side (the pros) versus the other side (the cons).

As you read in Changeology, the pros and the cons predict who succeeds at self-change and who does not. The Pros will outweigh the Cons in the end but not always at the beginning.

In this exercise, we’ll walk you through this balance. You will find here blank Pros and Cons sheets. You can complete them for diverse goals, and you can complete them at different points in time. It’s fascinating (and fun) to watch the positives of change grow throughout the 5 steps while the negatives slowly slide away.

The method is straightforward: On one side of a piece of paper write the pros—the reasons for your change of a particular problem. On the other side of a paper write the cons—the arguments for not changing and continuing your comfy and familiar behavior. We provide the blank forms to make it easier for you.

On both the pros and cons sides include reasons to change/not change from your own perspective (Self) as well as from other people (Others). That means there are four squares to complete, as shown in the following example.

Rita’s Pros and Cons for Losing Weight

PROS of Changing	CONS of Changing
Self Feel less disgusted with my body Look better Improved self-esteem More energy to do things Live longer in all probability Take less prescription medication Others Be more active with my kids More energy and enthusiasm Family less worried about my health More pleasing to my partner	Self Can’t eat favorite fattening foods Might be cranky Will miss comfort foods Might need to prepare separate meals Others Have to say “no” at parties Might be embarrassed when family eats Friends could see me as less fun and social

In the early steps of self-change, your pros may be as numerous as the cons. The pro-con balance might be about even: you may be as comfortable remaining stuck as excited about changing. Let’s be honest, friends: even “problems” have short-term rewards.

In the middle step of Perspire and after, however, the pros will begin to outweigh the cons. Rita completed her list just a week into Perspire, so she was still anticipating a bunch of negatives that never occurred. Her friends, for example, never criticized her for declining desserts or saw her as less fun. Quite the opposite; they were tickled pink at her weight loss. Our instinctive fear of change frequently leads us to initially exaggerate the prospective losses.

When Rita completed the decisional balance exercise a few weeks later, her Pros outweighed the Cons of changing by two to one. It makes common sense, it makes perfect sense. How likely are you to succeed when you adore your comfy problem and cannot see the advantages of changing it?

As you complete this exercise, then, do not be surprised if the Pros of changing do not triumph over the Cons until you are well into the Perspire stage.  That’s the nature of ambivalence. But soon you will, in all probability, find the advantages coming to the fore and rising. That’s what scores of research studies have shown us over the years.

Below is a blank form for you to complete and print, if you like. Take a few moments and generate all of the advantages of changing for yourself and others. Then, do likewise for the disadvantages of changing. Viola – you have your Pros and Cons.

You can “score” it if you like: Compare the number of Pros to the number of Cons. In Rita’s example, the Pros were 10 and the Cons were 7. The next time she took it, the Pros were 12 and the Cons were 4.

Watch the Pro scores soar – and the Con scores fall — as you progress through the five steps of Changeology. Observe how several of the imagined Cons never materialize. And, most importantly, watch how the scores reflect and reinforce your success through the steps!